i wish i was fortune teller

what am i doing? i feel like im going through my life without any real plans but i know i have some type of goal. im scared for the future but i cant wait for it. i feel like im just waiting, waiting for the end of high school, waiting for real adulthood, waiting for my life to just get better. i know whats important to me and what i want my life to be but how to make that happen is a complete mystery to me.  i want to read ad write beautiful stories with meaning. i want to learn about all different types of life. i want to see the world.  how am i suppose to do with that. theres not really a career i can make out of that. it reminds me of this one song by kimya dawson. one line is i hope one day you get paid for being kimya dawson.

im scared. what if i dont get into college and i just end up working at the same place i do now for the rest of my life and i have to live with my parents and i never make it out of delaware.